The Beauty in Transitions
Transition. Change.
Ever since I can remember, I have viewed these words through a lens of fear and trepidation. As a TCK (Third Culture Kid), I experienced change frequently beginning from a very early age. At the time of my birth, my parents were beginning their training with New Tribes Mission (now Ethnos360) at a 2 year Bible School in Michigan. Subsequent steps in the missionary training process meant moves to south-central PA, and then back “home” to northwestern PA while they met with several churches and groups to raise financial support. During that time we lived in at least 2 different homes, plus a span of time in my grandparents’ basement. By the time we moved to Papua New Guinea at the age of 7, I had lived in 6 different places! Additionally, a furlough every 2-4 years meant making the journey back to the US where we would stay for a year, sometimes longer. Every furlough was different in that respect, depending on our family’s needs. As a young child, I was sort of along for the ride. This was my normal.
However, I struggled more as I got older when change meant leaving long-time childhood friends, and even my sister behind in the US as she got older and finished high school. For me, anxiety and depression were often the bi-product. Each time another transition loomed on the horizon, I became more and more paralyzed as I felt powerless to stop the wave of change that was about to come crashing down on my head. (Read my full story here.)
Fast forward several years … I was a student at Lancaster Bible College and began to enter a season of healthy processing and healing. I remember a significant conversation with a women’s ministry program mentor of mine – also a TCK -- by God’s gracious gift to me. I remember confiding in her that I felt as though I was holding on to the end of a long rope. God was seemingly at the top of that rope, jerking it around wildly as I swung chaotically at the other end, doing my best to hold on with a white-knuckle grip. Her response was transformative:
“Leah, God isn’t at the top of the rope. He is at the bottom, ready to catch you.”
What a difference a shift in perspective can make! The shift wasn’t instantaneous, but this was the beginning of seeing change (and God’s role in it) differently. Even though still difficult, I started to see it as an invitation to a deeper intimacy with God; not a cruel God who just wanted to see how well I could hang on, but a compassionate and tender God who wanted to meet me and shepherd me in a personal way through each season of my life. He wasn’t expecting me to handle it all by myself in order to somehow prove my worth and my strength (this was actually disastrous as I leaned into unhealthy coping mechanisms). He actually wanted to walk with me, teaching me that his mighty hand would uphold me securely as I rested in his care.
A few years ago, I came cross a special book called Girl Meets Change, by Kristen Strong. Although her story is mostly focused on moves due to her husband being in the military, I believe we are kindred spirits. She accurately describes seasons of change as akin to walking through a blur. She shares a story from blogger Stacey Thacker, who unexpectedly lost her father:
“A friend of mine told me about a French word. It is bouleverser. It means, ‘a total upheaval, an upset, an absolute reorientation of the way you saw the world before.’ She said, ‘That’s what you have ahead of you. I and so many others in the family of Christ will be praying you through the agony, the blur, the chaos as you try to figure out a world without your father in it.’
Yes. Yes. Yes. This is where I am. In the blur” (pg. 48).
I too have experienced the blur. Many times. Can you relate?
Maybe you too have lived a transient, cross-cultural life? Or maybe you have lost a loved one like Stacey Thacker and are feeling totally disoriented, trying to figure out your new ‘normal’ way forward. Perhaps you are simply entering a new season. Life seems to be full of these – motherhood, career changes, a new season as an empty-nester, a move to a new state, retirement – the list could go on!
If you are in the middle of that blur, let me share more of Kristen’s wise words:
“Handling change – beginning to see it as a grace rather than a grouse – takes time. But this I know: one of the key times God is closest is during and after change. And if God is close to us amidst change he brings to us, then he is working through it to bring out some positive change in us as well… While I’m not about to get cocky and consider myself a pro at handling change, I have learned to move with it instead of fight it, to see what Jesus wants me to learn in the midst of it. To see how he wants to draw me closer to him. And oh, how I want to be closer to him” (pg. 32-33, emphasis mine).
Isn’t that a lovely thought? When we feel the most unstable and out of control of our lives, God actually moves toward us. He provides the comfort we need through the nearness of His sweet presence in the same way that a newborn baby is comforted by the sound of his mother’s voice. What’s more, we are able to see and experience him in new and fresh ways as he meets us in each circumstance. We get to see again, that he truly is and will always be faithful.
David obviously experienced God’s presence in the midst of his changing and tumultuous circumstances as well. I’ll leave you with these words which have become precious to me:
“You hem me in – behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast” (Psalm 139: 5-10, emphasis mine).
May you sense the sweet, reassuring presence of God with you today in whatever blur you may find yourself.
Coaching Questions to Ponder:
How do you view the changes in your life and God’s role in them?
Where is God revealing himself to you in your current season?
If you can’t sense God’s presence with you, take some time to sit quietly and ask him to show you.
* If you are a cross-cultural worker and need someone to walk with you through a season of change, I would be honored! Check out my Re-entry Coaching page. *
